You may know that I am a Palliative Care Physician. You also may know that last year I decided to become a Life Coach and make an impact on the living, not just the dying patients.

This year I started a year long coaching program called “Living Intentionally”. While I have one on one clients that I see separately, I am really loving the people who have signed up to be part of this journey with me.

Part of getting us all to live a more intentional life, I made an intention of not writing in this space for two weeks. I had some writing to do for myself before I would do some writing here to share.

I started by questioning what would be my word of the year?

People get busy setting new year’s resolutions for themselves only to break them mid February. What if you set an intention to be more intentional?

For me the intention of this year has been ‘acceptance’. Loving myself and my life exactly as it is. That is what I am teaching in my group coaching as well. Our main focus is love and self compassion. From that place, you can create exactly the life that you want to create for yourself.

This moment.

Not when you have lost the weight, finished fellowship, got the kids through middle school, or paid off the house and the student loans. Like literally right now.

So much of the resistance that I experience with my clients has to do with how old they are.

How old are you?

If you did not know how old you are today, how old would you think you are?

I am 51 years old. When I was a kid, I remember the sister of one of my friends had gone through a divorce. She was 31 years old. I remember her crying and wondering who is going to marry a divorced 31 year old? I sort of understood what she was getting at somehow.

She seemed old to me.

Meanwhile, I remember when I was 27 years old and applying to medical schools. Asking my sister, “This is crazy. You think I should do it? I will be 31 years old when I am done.” She replied, “You will be 31 years old either way.”

So wise. Age is truly just a number. Whether you like it or not, here you are. Your exact age.

But as we get older, people who are our age are somehow no longer so old. A 50 year old diagnosed with terminal cancer seems ‘so young’.

What I know for sure is that our days go on and on as if a single continuation of life. We plan for things happening this week or next. Yet we have no idea if we are going to be around to see them through.

I had taken a picture of a scrabble hand I had that ironically had spelled “DEATH”. I posted it on my palliative care group Facebook page. One member of that group gave me a suggestion of 5 different words to make those letters work on my board. Words that did not spell “death”.

Today, I found out that he had died yesterday. I had no idea he was ill.

Two weeks ago giving me tips on Scrabble and now literally gone. No more presence in this world to help me…

Our days go on and on. We have this idea that we will check out at a certain time. That it will be this way or that way. In my very first podcast, I talk about how I was asked to imagine my death when I was in Medical School. It was quite idyllic and I am pretty sure that it won’t be the reality of my actual death.

Growing up we didn’t count the days or years. We were young and then one day we were old.

My brother and his wife travelled to Turkey last year. He said he was visiting a village and he asked a boy how old he was. He did not know. He had no idea when his birthday was.

I think ultimately it does not matter how old you are. You are here. No matter how much you may be struggling, I want to offer you this thought that your life is perfect as it is this very moment.

It is a good day that you are here and are alive and are reading this.

Two weeks ago a friend was engaging with me and my scrabble word and he is gone now.

The alternative of not being in this very moment is not that great.

I hope for you to enjoy it fully.

With so much love and Aloha!