When I first heard about meditation, as something people other than buddhist monks do in their regular lives, I was probably in my early twenties. I had a college friend who was really into mindful work way back then. She really wanted to get me into meditating with her. I would ask: So do you have to sit there and close your eyes and think about nothing?
I remember telling my friend, “oh, I don’t have time for that.” She would smile and say, “Then you must do 20 minutes!”

The idea being, if you are too busy for a 10 minute meditation you probably need it more than you think.

Almost thirty years later, I meditate every day. Many times a day. It’s sort of like religion and the act of going to church. When I ask about spirituality in my palliative care consults, people always hesitate and then say: “well, I believe in God, I just haven’t been to church regularly.” I am pretty sure that whatever God you believe in, it is more important how you live your life and treat other people than if you physically walk into a church every Sunday.

My mediation starts with a structured time of intentional breathing and quieting my mind. Checking in with myself to see how am I doing? Anxious, worried, happy, overwhelmed, confused, whatever I am feeling. I just ‘watch those feelings’ becoming aware of them. Then another form of meditation is the one I love more than anything. Some people call it walking meditation, because it’s a meditation that happens while you are walking. I actually do my meditation while running.

The rhythmic back and forth movement of my arms, my feet hitting the ground, my breath consistent and supportive.

If you don’t like running, that is because you are running too fast. When you start running by keeping your heart at a certain level (and not higher) you start developing this vast aerobic base where you can run for hours.
This year as I had turned 50, I had signed up to run the American River 50 Mile Endurance run in Sacramento, California. I had never ran more than the length of a marathon, but I always knew I wanted to run the AR50 when I turned 50.

Before you get impressed, you should know that I am by no means a fast runner. When people ask my pace, I often joke: “I am faster than my couch.” That, my friends is a fact! I love distance running. I have had no formal training. When I turned 40, and my little one was almost a year, I decide I need to exercise more regularly. Not a gym. Not a class. Just put shoes on my feet go outside for 15 minutes and then turn right back around. Boom, there’s your 30 minutes a day. You’re welcome!

My next door neighbor, was also a mom with two kids of same age. She happened to be an attorney who worked for the office of Kamala Harris at the time. When I would get home, I’d text her to see if she could get out. We would head out to the park next to our home and started jogging. Before you knew it, we were running 5 miles at a time. Two months later we signed up for a half marathon and the same year we ran the California International Marathon.

I had the best time. Barring injuries, I have been running ever since. This week is starting the marathon training for Honolulu Marathon. I’m sticking to the schedule even though I am 100 percent sure it will be cancelled due to COVID.

The first year I ran the Honolulu Marathon, my daughter’s best friend’s mom asked her, “How did your mom do?”. My daughter said, “My mom doesn’t care about her time, she does it for the experience.”
My work as a parent is done!! She is actually watching me and sees what I see in running. I am meditating. Slowly. Miles after miles. To clear my head. If you don’t even run, you’ve heard of ‘runner’s high’. It’s an actual thing. It’s a feeling that you are so happy you are alive. You love your children. You love your husband. You love your life. It really is bizarre. Your life seems better than when you started running.

Every. Single. Time.

When I see my patients in the hospital, I know that one day I may not be able to run. Today is not that day. One day I will hurt too much to even walk. Like my mother, with her terrible osteoarthritis so bad she cancels plans that involve using stairs. Today is not that day. One of the most inspiring things about running a marathon, is not the elite runners who fly by so fast and so effortless it seems their feet never touch the ground. It’s the older people who clearly have suffered a stroke and are doing it against all odds. The runners with an artificial blade. The overweight runners who are mostly walking with a little bit of running. They are all celebrating life. They decided to put themselves out there. One foot in front of the other. Miles after miles after miles.

It may seem like insanity, but it is my meditation. When I trained for my 50 mile race, my longest training run was 31 miles. It felt endless and truly at some point I could not feel my legs and it felt as if someone else was doing the running and I was watching myself. It felt spiritual.

Running is a great metaphor in life. You will get out of it what you put in. You can not sprint to a point and enjoy the view. You can’t decide to run a 50 mile race and do it the next day. You need to plan it all out. Sometimes a whole year in advance. You keep yourself accountable. There’s no trophy. The act of training for a race, committing to it, planning it out and getting yourself out there five days a week builds resilience.

It tires the body and helps you fall asleep so fast at night. The feeling where the sleep comes over you and knocks you out. It clears the mind and gives you answers you did not know you were seeking.

When I met my college friend years later, she asked about meditation again, I told her about my distance running habit and how it clears my head. She smiled and said, “It seems like you don’t need to meditate anymore.”

Whatever is your meditation, just do it. The benefits are endless. I had recommended the Headspace App to everyone. It is free in times of COVD when you put in your NPI number. The clarity that meditation brings, adds so much life to your living. It makes you feel alive. Makes you feel all the feels. You won’t feel like a zombie walking through life as if you were a passenger in a boat that was aimlessly moving ahead. It gives you presence, direction, clarity and purpose.

Living a life on purpose changes every single interaction you will have with your loved ones as well as people who cut in front of you in traffic.
Do what grounds you. Do it every day. Do it often. Do it for yourself. So you can feel grounded to show up in this world with a centered mind. Everyone will benefit.

What is your meditation?

Have a great weekend. Feel free to share what brings you joy, makes you feel alive, and be in the moment. It will inspire all of us here.

So much love to you🌺

PS. The race was cancelled. But they let us complete it virtually. You had to submit your Strava GPS map. Then they sent us our swag bag. Jacket and all. I had pictured myself wearing that jacket The whole year that I trained. Felt like cheating as well as being cheated. But I did it. One foot in front of the other. Just as I had planned to do.