“Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.”

-Hafez

Happy Shab e Yalda!

If you do not have a Persian heritage like I do, you would love to learn about this tradition.

It falls on the Northern hemisphere’s winter solstice. It falls somewhere between December 20/21. You have to check with the stars to figure the actual date.

Zoroastrian, the oldest monotheist religion known to man, used to believe that the longest and darkest night of the year was a specially inauspicious day, and the practice of gathering together and celebrating life and specific things that symbolize a new beginning were emphasized. The tradition lost its meaning of believing the evil forces were going to compromise those who fell asleep at night, and turned into people gathering together to stay up until the morning time. Sharing stories and eating fruits and mixed nuts.

The longest and darkest night of the year is a time when friends and family gather together to eat, drink and read poetry. This is not at dinner time. It is way past that time. Fruits and nuts are eaten and pomegranate and watermelons are particularly symbolic. The red color of these fruits symbolize the crimson hues of dawn and the glow of life.

We light candles and leave them on until midnight. Once again a symbol of greeting light with light. Fighting darkness with the flicker of light that is our soul.

My personal memory of this night is always going to my grandmother’s home and staying up until midnight. Listening to my aunts and uncles share stories of their childhood and just pure laughter and joy. As a kid, eating mixed nuts along with pomegranate and watermelon in the dead of winter was the most joyous event. No parent nudging me to get ready for bed. The plan was staying up until midnight.

We all have a book or Divan of Hafez, the Sufi Poet, in our homes. We open the book at a random spot and read it as if it is our fortune for the upcoming year. While most people know Rumi, another Persian poet, as the father of mindfulness poetry from years past, I’d say Hafez is right up there. His poetry is beautiful, intentional and open to interpretation. Two people can read the exact poem and make it mean something entirely different that can apply to their existence.

As a kid, this skill was way over my head.

This year, the year 2020, I could not wait for this longest and darkest night to come. To come and then to go. Starting the day after Shab-e-Yalda, the days get longer and there is more light in the world (Northern Hemisphere). But this time around, it is more about the symbolism than actually lighter days ahead. Living in Hawaii, I cannot say that I can actually appreciate a shift in the daylight much. On a psychological level though, I am still looking forward to more ‘good’ in this world, starting today. The darkness is behind us.

I still carry the same traditions. Marrying a French American man who practices no religion but honors all of my personal rituals, it is my intentional and joyful responsibility to create those traditions for my own family.

My children know it and demand it. Yesterday, we managed to get watermelon, pomegranate and mixed nuts. Lit candles and stayed up late. Girls got to stay up until midnight (I gave them that permission but I fell asleep) and I shared some of my favorite Hafez poems with them.

I hope you will have a wonderful day. I hope you find strength and comfort in rituals that ground you and keep you connected to your roots. At the end of the day, I think these connections keep us who we are. The awareness that we are part of something much bigger than ourselves. While it matters that we have awareness and appreciate today, it matters that we honor those who have come before us and are gone.

I had the privilege of being in a workshop moderated by Eckhart Tolle yesterday. Festival of light of sorts, especially as it led into the winter solstice. I asked him about Death. He talked about us being “Human Beings”.

When we die, the Human dies but the Being never leaves this world.

Just wow. Let that sink in for a second.

I enjoyed my Shab e Yalda with the Beings of my grandmothers and my father who are no longer in my present life but remain the very essence of who I am today.

If this tragic year has created loss in your life personally, I hope this perspective gives you peace and a sense of loving acceptance.

Sending you so much love and Aloha.